An excerpt from James Lepine’s The Trip of a Life (which you can read here) that I relate to:
And it seems like one day I want to be around all of my best friends, and then the next day I want to be all by myself. Like, I love being around people and laughing and joking and having a grand ole time, but then the next day I need a break from it, and I need it to be just me and my laptop, and writing and music and watching. But then at the end of that day, I’m starting to get insanely lonely and wanting to be around people again.
But that seems like sort of an impossible way to live. Like, if you were a husband, you couldn’t tell your wife, Honey, I’m gonna be at the house about 4 days out of every week. I have this other house where I live for the other three days. I just need breaks every now and then, you know? Do you mind taking care of the kids and everything else while I’m gone? Sorry, I just need my “me time.” You understand, right?
I think a wife would say, No, sugar, that’s not how it works. When we got married you signed up for being completely committed to this. You signed up for the good and the bad. You signed up for the laughter and the frustration. You can’t just leave when you’re wanting to be all alone.
That makes me wonder if I’ll ever get married. I’m sure I will. I’m sure I’ll grow up and grow out of this phase. And sure, some husbands travel from time to time, and that’s alright, so it’s not like it’s one thing or the other. I guess I’m just saying that community, or family – which is the same, in my mind – is tough, but good, and necessary. And some times you gotta pull an Alexander Supertramp from Into the Wild, in order to figure that out.
And some cowboys can’t ever figure that out. They just roam the prairies for their entire lives, being alone and drinking whiskey. I think it was KidRock who said, “I’m a cowboy, baby.” That’s true, Kid, that’s true.